Top 45 Slang For Masturbate – Meaning & Usage

Masturbation, a natural and healthy form of self-exploration and pleasure, has been a topic that has been shrouded in secrecy and taboo for far too long. But fear not, we’re here to break down those barriers and present you with a list of slang terms for masturbation that will not only entertain and educate but also empower you to embrace your own sexuality. From the hilarious to the unexpected, we’ve got you covered with this eye-opening compilation of the most creative and amusing ways people refer to this intimate act. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even discover a new favorite euphemism!

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1. Beat the meat

This phrase is a slang term that refers to the act of masturbating. It is often used humorously or casually.

  • For example, a group of friends might joke, “I’m just going to go beat the meat real quick.”
  • In a more serious context, someone might say, “After a long day, sometimes all you need is some alone time to beat the meat.”
  • A person discussing sexual health might use this phrase to normalize conversations about self-pleasure, saying, “It’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong or shameful about beating the meat.”

2. Jerk off

This phrase is a common slang term for the act of masturbating. It is often used casually or informally.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I’m just going to stay home tonight and jerk off.”
  • In a conversation about sexual experiences, a person might share, “I discovered the joys of jerking off at a young age.”
  • A sex educator might use this phrase to discuss healthy sexual habits, explaining, “Exploring your own body through jerking off can help you understand your desires and preferences.”

3. Rub one out

This phrase is a colloquial term that refers to the act of masturbating. It is often used playfully or lightheartedly.

  • For example, someone might say, “I need some alone time to rub one out.”
  • In a conversation about sexual satisfaction, a person might share, “Sometimes, all it takes is a quick rub one out to relieve stress.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a comedic routine, joking, “If you’re feeling down, just rub one out. It’s like a natural antidepressant!”

4. Spank the monkey

This phrase is a humorous slang term that refers to the act of masturbating. It is often used in a joking or light-hearted manner.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I caught my roommate spanking the monkey last night.”
  • In a conversation about sexual desires, a person might confess, “Sometimes, all I want to do is spank the monkey.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a comedic routine, saying, “You know it’s been a rough day when all you want to do is go home and spank the monkey.”

5. Choke the chicken

This phrase is a slang term that refers to the act of masturbating. It is often used humorously or playfully.

  • For example, someone might say, “I’m just going to go home and choke the chicken.”
  • In a conversation about sexual release, a person might share, “Sometimes, all you need is a quick choke the chicken to feel better.”
  • A sex-positive advocate might use this phrase to promote self-pleasure, saying, “Don’t be afraid to explore your own body and choke the chicken. It’s a natural and healthy part of sexuality.”

6. Flick the bean

This phrase is slang for female masturbation, specifically referring to stimulating the clitoris. It is often used humorously or in a casual conversation.

  • For example, a group of friends might joke, “She’s been flicking the bean all night, she must be really bored.”
  • In a more serious discussion about sexual health, someone might say, “Many women enjoy flicking the bean as a way to explore their own pleasure.”
  • In a lighthearted conversation about self-care, a person might mention, “Sometimes, flicking the bean is the best way to unwind.”

7. Polish the pearl

This phrase is slang for female masturbation, specifically referring to stimulating the clitoris. It is often used humorously or in a casual conversation.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I had a long day, I think I’m going to polish the pearl tonight.”
  • In a conversation about sexual empowerment, someone might mention, “Learning to polish the pearl was a key part of my journey to understanding my own pleasure.”
  • In a playful discussion about self-love, a person might joke, “Sometimes, you just need to take some time to polish the pearl.”

8. Hand-to-gland combat

This phrase is slang for male masturbation, specifically referring to using one’s hand to stimulate the penis. It is often used humorously or in a casual conversation.

  • For example, a person might say, “I was feeling stressed, so I engaged in some hand-to-gland combat.”
  • In a conversation about sexual health, someone might mention, “Many men engage in hand-to-gland combat as a way to explore their own pleasure.”
  • In a lighthearted discussion about self-care, a person might joke, “Sometimes, hand-to-gland combat is the best way to relieve stress.”

9. Five-finger shuffle

This phrase is slang for male masturbation, specifically referring to using one’s hand to stimulate the penis. It is often used humorously or in a casual conversation.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I had some alone time, so I decided to do the five-finger shuffle.”
  • In a conversation about sexual empowerment, someone might mention, “Learning to do the five-finger shuffle was a key part of my journey to understanding my own pleasure.”
  • In a playful discussion about self-love, a person might joke, “Sometimes, you just need to do the five-finger shuffle.”

10. Wax the carrot

This phrase is slang for male masturbation, specifically referring to using one’s hand to stimulate the penis. It is often used humorously or in a casual conversation.

  • For example, a person might say, “I had some free time, so I decided to wax the carrot.”
  • In a conversation about sexual health, someone might mention, “Many men engage in waxing the carrot as a way to explore their own pleasure.”
  • In a lighthearted discussion about self-care, a person might joke, “Sometimes, waxing the carrot is the best way to relax.”

11. Pound the flounder

This slang phrase refers to vigorously masturbating. It is often used humorously or in a lighthearted manner.

  • For example, someone might say, “I was so bored last night, I ended up pounding the flounder for hours.”
  • In a casual conversation among friends, someone might joke, “I think I’ll stay in tonight and pound the flounder.”
  • A person discussing self-pleasure might say, “Sometimes, you just need to pound the flounder to release some stress.”

12. Tug one’s horn

This slang phrase refers to masturbating by pulling on one’s penis. It is a euphemistic and humorous way to talk about self-pleasure.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I had some alone time, so I decided to tug my horn.”
  • In a joking conversation about personal habits, a person might say, “I’m an expert at tugging my own horn.”
  • A friend might tease another by saying, “I bet you spend all day tugging your horn.”

13. Stroke the salami

This slang phrase refers to masturbating by stroking one’s penis. It is a humorous and euphemistic way to talk about self-pleasure.

  • For example, someone might say, “After a long day, I just want to relax and stroke the salami.”
  • In a casual conversation about personal habits, a person might joke, “I’ve become quite skilled at stroking the salami.”
  • A person discussing sexual satisfaction might say, “Sometimes, all you need is a little alone time to stroke the salami.”

14. Play pocket pool

This slang phrase refers to masturbating by touching one’s genitals through one’s pants. It is a playful and euphemistic way to talk about self-pleasure.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I caught my roommate playing pocket pool when he thought no one was looking.”
  • In a joking conversation about personal habits, a person might say, “I’m the champion of pocket pool.”
  • A friend might tease another by saying, “I bet you’re a pro at playing pocket pool.”

15. Double-click the mouse

This slang phrase refers to masturbating by stimulating the clitoris. It is a euphemistic and humorous way to talk about self-pleasure for individuals with a clitoris.

  • For example, someone might say, “I had some alone time, so I decided to double-click the mouse.”
  • In a joking conversation about personal habits, a person might say, “I’m a master at double-clicking the mouse.”
  • A friend might tease another by saying, “I bet you spend all day double-clicking the mouse.”

16. Finger blast

This term refers to using one’s fingers to stimulate oneself sexually. It is often used to describe manual stimulation of the genitals.

  • For example, a person might say, “I had some alone time last night and decided to finger blast myself.”
  • In a conversation about sexual preferences, someone might mention, “I enjoy finger blasting as a form of self-pleasure.”
  • A friend might joke, “He’s always talking about finger blasting himself. It’s a bit TMI.”

17. Fap

This term is often used to describe the act of male masturbation. It is typically used in an informal or humorous context.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I spent the whole afternoon fapping to some NSFW content.”
  • In a discussion about personal habits, a person might admit, “I fap regularly to relieve stress.”
  • A friend might tease, “I caught him fapping in his room. He needs to learn some self-control.”

18. Wank

This term is commonly used to describe the act of male masturbation. It is a slang word often used in informal or casual conversations.

  • For example, a person might say, “I had a great wank last night before bed.”
  • In a discussion about sexual experiences, someone might share, “I discovered the art of wanking when I was a teenager.”
  • A friend might joke, “He’s always talking about wanking. Does he have any other hobbies?”

19. Jack off

This term is a slang phrase used to describe the act of masturbation, regardless of the person’s gender.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I need some alone time to jack off and relax.”
  • In a conversation about self-pleasure, a person might admit, “I enjoy jacking off as a form of stress relief.”
  • A friend might tease, “He’s always talking about jacking off. Can’t he keep it to himself?”

20. Whack off

This term is often used to describe the act of masturbation, regardless of the person’s gender. It is a slang phrase that is typically used in informal conversations.

  • For example, a person might say, “I’m going to go whack off in my room. I need some alone time.”
  • In a discussion about personal habits, someone might admit, “I find it relaxing to whack off before going to sleep.”
  • A friend might joke, “He’s always talking about whacking off. Can’t he find a more productive hobby?”

21. Beat off

This slang term is used to describe the act of masturbating. It is often used in casual conversations or among friends.

  • For example, someone might say, “I’m just going to go home and beat off.”
  • In a humorous context, a person might joke, “I don’t need a partner, I can just beat off.”
  • Another might say, “Sometimes it’s just easier to beat off than to deal with dating drama.”

22. Jingle the jangle

This slang phrase is a euphemism for masturbating. It is less commonly used and might be seen as more playful or light-hearted.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I caught him jingling the jangle in his room.”
  • In a joking manner, a person might say, “I’m going to go jingle the jangle, be right back.”
  • Another might use it in a sentence like, “I need some alone time to jingle the jangle and relax.”

23. Bone the cone

This slang phrase is a humorous way to refer to the act of masturbating. It uses a rhyming phrase to add a playful or silly tone.

  • For example, someone might say, “I was so bored last night, I ended up boning the cone.”
  • In a joking manner, a person might say, “I’m just going to stay in tonight and bone the cone.”
  • Another might use it in a sentence like, “Sometimes you just need to bone the cone to relieve stress.”

24. Shake hands with the unemployed

This slang phrase is a humorous and creative way to refer to the act of masturbating. It uses a metaphor to add a humorous twist.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I caught him shaking hands with the unemployed in the bathroom.”
  • In a joking manner, a person might say, “I’m going to go shake hands with the unemployed, if you know what I mean.”
  • Another might use it in a sentence like, “After a long day, sometimes you just need to shake hands with the unemployed.”

25. Take matters into one’s own hands

This slang phrase is a euphemism for masturbating. It uses a metaphor to imply taking control of one’s own sexual pleasure.

  • For example, someone might say, “I was feeling frisky, so I took matters into my own hands.”
  • In a joking manner, a person might say, “If no one else is around, I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”
  • Another might use it in a sentence like, “Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands when you’re feeling horny.”

26. Flog the log

This slang phrase refers to the act of masturbating. It is a humorous way to describe the action.

  • For example, a friend might jokingly say, “I caught him flogging the log in his room.”
  • In a casual conversation about self-pleasure, someone might mention, “I heard he’s a pro at flogging the log.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in their act, saying, “Sometimes you just need to take some alone time and flog the log.”

27. Hand shandy

This slang term is used to describe the act of masturbating. It often implies using one’s hand to stimulate oneself sexually.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I’m going to go have a hand shandy before bed.”
  • In a conversation about sexual experiences, someone might share, “I remember my first hand shandy like it was yesterday.”
  • A group of friends joking around might use this term, saying, “Who needs a partner when you can give yourself a hand shandy?”

28. Play with oneself

This phrase is a euphemism for masturbating. It suggests engaging in sexual stimulation with oneself.

  • For example, someone might say, “It’s healthy to play with oneself and explore your own body.”
  • In a conversation about sexual liberation, a person might argue, “There’s nothing wrong with playing with oneself as long as it’s consensual and safe.”
  • A sex educator might use this phrase in a workshop, saying, “Learning to play with oneself can help individuals understand their own desires and preferences.”

29. Have a date with Palmela Handerson

This humorous phrase is a play on words, replacing the name Pamela Anderson with “Palmela Handerson” to describe the act of masturbating using one’s hand.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I canceled my plans tonight because I have a date with Palmela Handerson.”
  • In a conversation about self-pleasure, someone might share, “Sometimes all you need is a quiet night in with Palmela Handerson.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in their routine, saying, “Who needs a partner when you can have a romantic evening with Palmela Handerson?”

30. Five knuckle shuffle

This slang term refers to the act of masturbating using one’s hand. It humorously suggests the motion of moving one’s hand up and down.

  • For example, a person might say, “I caught him doing the five knuckle shuffle in his room.”
  • In a casual conversation about self-pleasure, someone might mention, “I’ve heard the five knuckle shuffle is quite popular among teenagers.”
  • A group of friends joking around might use this term, saying, “Who needs a partner when you can do the five knuckle shuffle?”

31. Dance with Mary Jane

This phrase is a euphemism for masturbating. It is derived from the slang term “Mary Jane,” which often refers to marijuana. The phrase implies that someone is engaging in a pleasurable activity similar to dancing with Mary Jane.
-For example, a person might say, “I’m just going to stay in tonight and dance with Mary Jane.”
-In a casual conversation about personal habits, someone might ask, “Do you ever dance with Mary Jane?”
-A friend might jokingly say, “I caught him dancing with Mary Jane in his room.”

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32. Give oneself a hand

This phrase is a playful way of referring to masturbating. It suggests that someone is giving themselves a round of applause or praise for engaging in the activity.
-For instance, someone might say, “I had some alone time last night and decided to give myself a hand.”
-In a conversation about personal experiences, someone might ask, “Have you ever given yourself a hand?”
-A person might jokingly comment, “He’s always quick to give himself a hand whenever he’s alone.”

33. Rub it out

This phrase is a slang term for masturbating. It implies the act of rubbing or stroking one’s genitals to achieve sexual pleasure.
-For example, someone might say, “I need some alone time to rub it out.”
-In a casual conversation about personal habits, someone might ask, “Do you ever rub it out?”
-A friend might jokingly comment, “He’s always finding excuses to rub it out.”

34. Jack it

This phrase is a slang term for masturbating, specifically for men. It is derived from the term “jack off,” which means to masturbate by manually stimulating the genitals.
-For instance, someone might say, “I caught him jacking it in his room.”
-In a conversation about personal experiences, someone might ask, “Have you ever jacked it?”
-A person might jokingly comment, “He’s always quick to jack it whenever he’s alone.”

35. Whack it

This phrase is a slang term for masturbating. It suggests the act of striking or hitting one’s genitals in order to achieve sexual pleasure.
-For example, someone might say, “I had some alone time last night and decided to whack it.”
-In a casual conversation about personal habits, someone might ask, “Do you ever whack it?”
-A friend might jokingly comment, “He’s always finding excuses to whack it.”

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36. Toss off

This slang term refers to the act of masturbating. It is often used in a casual or humorous context.

  • For example, someone might say, “I’m just going to go toss off real quick.”
  • In a joking conversation, a person might ask, “How many times do you toss off in a day?”
  • A friend might tease, “I caught him tossing off in his room.”

37. Jingle the bells

This slang phrase is a euphemism for masturbating. It uses the imagery of jingling bells to represent the act.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I’m going to go jingle the bells, be right back.”
  • In a humorous conversation, a person might ask, “Do you jingle the bells with the left hand or the right hand?”
  • A friend might make a joke, “Santa’s elves are experts at jingling the bells.”

38. Shake hands with the milkman

This slang expression refers to the act of masturbating. It uses the metaphor of shaking hands with the milkman to represent the act.

  • For example, someone might say, “I caught him shaking hands with the milkman in the bathroom.”
  • In a playful conversation, a person might ask, “Have you ever shaken hands with the milkman?”
  • A friend might tease, “I heard you’re quite skilled at shaking hands with the milkman.”

39. Have a one-man party

This slang phrase describes the act of masturbating. It suggests that the person is having a party for one.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I had a one-man party last night, it was wild.”
  • In a joking conversation, a person might ask, “Are you going to have a one-man party tonight?”
  • A friend might tease, “I see you’re having a one-man party in your bedroom.”

40. Have a solo session

This slang phrase refers to the act of masturbating alone. It emphasizes the individual nature of the activity.

  • For example, someone might say, “I’m going to have a solo session before bed.”
  • In a casual conversation, a person might ask, “How often do you have solo sessions?”
  • A friend might make a joke, “I heard you’re an expert at solo sessions.”

41. Fingerbang

This term refers to the act of using one’s fingers to stimulate oneself sexually. It can be used for both men and women.

  • For example, a person might say, “I had some alone time last night and decided to fingerbang myself.”
  • In a casual conversation about self-pleasure, someone might ask, “Do you prefer fingerbang or using toys?”
  • A friend might jokingly say, “I caught my roommate fingerbanging in their room. Awkward!”

42. DIY

This slang term is an acronym for “Do It Yourself” and is used to refer to the act of self-pleasure or masturbation.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I was feeling frisky, so I decided to DIY.”
  • In a conversation about personal preferences, someone might ask, “Do you prefer DIY or having a partner?”
  • A friend might tease, “I heard you’re quite the DIY expert. Need any tips?”

43. Self-love

This term is a euphemism for masturbation and emphasizes the idea of self-care and self-pleasure.

  • For example, someone might say, “I believe in the power of self-love.”
  • In a discussion about sexual health, someone might mention, “Practicing self-love can help relieve stress and improve sleep.”
  • A friend might playfully say, “Don’t be shy about embracing self-love. It’s a natural part of life.”

44. Tug one out

This slang phrase is used to describe the act of masturbating, specifically referring to the action of manually stimulating oneself to achieve orgasm.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I needed to relieve some tension, so I tugged one out.”
  • In a humorous conversation about personal habits, a person might ask, “How often do you tug one out?”
  • A friend might jokingly comment, “I heard you’re an expert at tugging one out. Care to share your secrets?”

45. Pocket pool

This term is a playful euphemism for masturbating, often used in a lighthearted or joking manner.

  • For example, someone might say, “I caught my roommate playing pocket pool in the living room.”
  • In a casual conversation about personal habits, a person might ask, “Do you ever play pocket pool when you’re bored?”
  • A friend might tease, “I’m pretty sure you’re the champion of pocket pool. Show us your skills!”