Top 35 Slang For Masturbation – Meaning & Usage

Masturbation, a natural and healthy part of human sexuality, has its fair share of slang terms that are both humorous and creative. Curious to know what people call this act behind closed doors? Well, look no further! Our team at FluentSlang has done the research and gathered the top slang terms for masturbation in one convenient listicle. Get ready to have a chuckle and maybe even learn a few new phrases along the way!

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1. Play with oneself

This phrase refers to the act of pleasuring oneself sexually. It is a euphemistic way to talk about masturbation.

  • For example, a person might say, “Sometimes, it’s nice to just relax and play with oneself.”
  • In a more casual conversation, someone might ask, “Do you ever play with yourself?”
  • A friend might jokingly say, “I caught him playing with himself in his room!”

2. Hand-to-gland combat

This phrase is a humorous and playful way to describe the act of masturbation. It emphasizes the use of one’s hand in the sexual stimulation.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I had a long day, so I engaged in some hand-to-gland combat to relax.”
  • Among close friends, someone might ask, “Ever tried hand-to-gland combat? It’s a stress reliever!”
  • A person might joke, “I’m a black belt in hand-to-gland combat. No one can beat me!”

3. Five-knuckle shuffle

This phrase is a slang term for masturbation that humorously refers to the action of using one’s hand to stimulate the genitals.

  • For example, a person might say, “I’m going to go home and do the five-knuckle shuffle.”
  • Among friends, someone might ask, “Have you ever tried the five-knuckle shuffle? It’s quite satisfying!”
  • A person might jokingly say, “I’m a professional at the five-knuckle shuffle. Want some tips?”

4. Pound the flounder

This phrase is a playful slang term for masturbation. It uses a metaphor of pounding a flounder to describe the act of self-pleasure.

  • For instance, a person might say, “I’m just going to stay in tonight and pound the flounder.”
  • Among friends, someone might ask, “Have you ever tried pounding the flounder? It’s a good way to relax.”
  • A person might joke, “I’m a master at pounding the flounder. Want to learn my techniques?”

5. Beat the bishop

This phrase is a humorous slang term for masturbation. It uses the metaphor of beating a bishop to describe the act of self-stimulation.

  • For example, a person might say, “I’m going to go to my room and beat the bishop for a while.”
  • Among close friends, someone might ask, “Do you ever beat the bishop? It’s a great way to relieve stress.”
  • A person might jokingly say, “I’m a professional at beating the bishop. Want to challenge me?”

6. Jiggle the joystick

This phrase is a playful way of referring to the act of masturbating, comparing it to the movement of a joystick when playing video games.

  • For example, a person might say, “I’m going to take a break and jiggle the joystick for a while.”
  • In a conversation about gaming, someone might jokingly ask, “Are you more skilled at jigging the joystick or playing the game?”
  • Another person might say, “I can’t concentrate on this level, I need to go jiggle the joystick.”

7. Fingerblast

This term refers to the act of using one’s fingers to sexually stimulate oneself.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I had some alone time last night and decided to fingerblast myself.”
  • In a conversation about sexual experiences, a person might share, “I enjoy fingerblasting as part of my self-pleasure routine.”
  • Another person might ask, “Do you think fingerblasting is better than using a vibrator?”

8. Jerking off

This is a common and straightforward term for the act of masturbating.

  • For example, someone might say, “I need some alone time to jerk off and relax.”
  • In a conversation about sexual health, a person might ask, “How often do you jerk off?”
  • Another person might share, “I discovered the joy of jerking off when I was a teenager.”

9. Beating the meat

This phrase is a crude way of referring to the act of masturbating, specifically focusing on the stimulation of the penis.

  • For instance, someone might say, “After a long day, all I want to do is beat the meat and unwind.”
  • In a conversation about sexual slang, a person might ask, “Have you ever heard the term ‘beating the meat’ before?”
  • Another person might share, “I find beating the meat to be a stress-relieving activity.”

10. Spanking the monkey

This phrase is a humorous and playful way of referring to the act of masturbating, comparing it to spanking a monkey.

  • For example, someone might say, “I’m going to be late for work because I spent too much time spanking the monkey this morning.”
  • In a conversation about euphemisms, a person might ask, “Have you heard the term ‘spanking the monkey’ used to refer to masturbation?”
  • Another person might share, “My partner always jokes about catching me in the act of spanking the monkey.”

11. Fapping

This slang term is commonly used to refer to the act of masturbating, especially in online communities. It is often associated with the sound made during the act.

  • For example, someone might say, “I spent the whole afternoon fapping to that new video game character.”
  • In a discussion about personal habits, a person might admit, “I fap at least once a day.”
  • Another might ask, “Anyone else into fapping while watching adult films?”

12. Rubbing one out

This slang phrase is a euphemism for masturbating and refers to the act of manually stimulating oneself to orgasm.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I needed to relieve some stress, so I had to rub one out.”
  • In a conversation about personal experiences, a person might share, “I often rub one out before bed to help me sleep.”
  • Another might joke, “I can’t believe he went to the bathroom to rub one out during the party!”

13. Choking the chicken

This slang phrase is a humorous way to refer to the act of masturbating, particularly for males. It uses the imagery of choking a chicken to describe the manual stimulation.

  • For example, someone might say, “I caught my roommate choking the chicken in his room.”
  • In a conversation about personal habits, a person might confess, “I sometimes resort to choking the chicken when I’m bored.”
  • Another might joke, “I heard he’s an expert at choking the chicken. He could do it blindfolded!”

14. Polishing the pearl

This slang phrase is a euphemism for female masturbation. It uses the imagery of polishing a pearl to describe the act of manually stimulating the clitoris.

  • For instance, someone might say, “She was caught in the act of polishing the pearl.”
  • In a discussion about personal preferences, a person might share, “I enjoy polishing the pearl more than any other form of self-pleasure.”
  • Another might ask, “Any tips for a beginner in the art of polishing the pearl?”

15. Tugging the tiger

This slang phrase is a playful way to refer to the act of masturbating, often used by males. It uses the image of tugging on a tiger to describe the manual stimulation.

  • For example, someone might say, “I needed some alone time, so I started tugging the tiger.”
  • In a conversation about personal experiences, a person might share, “I once got caught tugging the tiger in the school bathroom.”
  • Another might joke, “Be careful when tugging the tiger, you don’t want to make it roar too soon!”

16. Waxing the carrot

This phrase is a humorous euphemism for masturbation. It implies the act of pleasuring oneself by comparing it to the action of rubbing or polishing a carrot.

  • For example, a friend might joke, “I caught my roommate waxing the carrot in his room again.”
  • In a lighthearted conversation about self-pleasure, someone might say, “Sometimes you just need to take some time and wax the carrot.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a stand-up routine, saying, “I walked in on my dad waxing the carrot, and I never looked at carrots the same way again.”

17. Slapping the salami

This phrase is a humorous and somewhat crude way to refer to masturbation. It suggests the action of vigorously slapping or hitting a salami, a type of cured sausage.

  • For instance, a group of friends might laugh and say, “Hey, let’s be honest, we’ve all slapped the salami at some point.”
  • In a casual conversation about personal experiences, someone might confess, “I was so bored yesterday that I ended up slapping the salami.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a joke, saying, “I walked in on my roommate slapping the salami and thought he was auditioning for a percussion band.”

18. Playing the skin flute

This phrase is a humorous and somewhat vulgar way to describe the act of male masturbation. It compares the action of pleasuring oneself to playing a musical instrument, specifically the flute, using the skin on the penis as the “instrument.”

  • For example, a friend might tease, “I heard you’re quite skilled at playing the skin flute.”
  • In a playful conversation about sexual experiences, someone might say, “I’ve been practicing my skills on the skin flute for years.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a risqué joke, saying, “My girlfriend asked if I could play the skin flute, and I said, ‘Honey, I’m a one-man band.'”

19. Stroking the sausage

This phrase is a humorous and somewhat crude way to refer to male masturbation. It likens the act of pleasuring oneself to stroking or rubbing a sausage.

  • For instance, a friend might joke, “I caught my roommate stroking the sausage in the bathroom again.”
  • In a casual conversation about personal habits, someone might confess, “Sometimes, after a long day, all I want to do is stroke the sausage.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a comedic routine, saying, “I don’t trust people who don’t enjoy stroking the sausage. What are they hiding?”

20. Whacking off

This phrase is a common and straightforward slang term for male masturbation. It implies the action of vigorously hitting or striking one’s genitals.

  • For example, a friend might ask, “What were you doing in your room for so long? Were you whacking off?”
  • In a candid conversation about sexual experiences, someone might say, “Sometimes, you just need to take care of business and whack off.”
  • A comedian might use this phrase in a joke, saying, “I walked in on my dad whacking off, and let me tell you, it’s not an image you can easily forget.”

21. Buffing the banana

This phrase is a humorous euphemism for the act of masturbating. It refers to the action of polishing or shining a banana, which is similar to the motion involved in masturbation.

  • For example, a person might say, “I caught my roommate buffing the banana in his room.”
  • In a comedic context, someone might joke, “I need to take a break and buff the banana.”
  • A person discussing sexual slang might mention, “Buffing the banana is just one of many creative terms for masturbation.”

22. Burping the worm

This slang phrase refers to the act of masturbating. It compares the motion of stroking the penis to the action of burping a worm, which involves a similar up-and-down motion.

  • For instance, a person might say, “He spends hours in his room burping the worm.”
  • In a casual conversation, someone might ask, “Have you ever tried burping the worm?”
  • A person discussing slang terms for masturbation might mention, “Burping the worm is a humorous way to refer to self-pleasure.”

23. Beating the bishop

This phrase is a vulgar slang term for the act of masturbating. It humorously suggests that the person is physically assaulting or “beating” their own genitals, specifically the penis.

  • For example, a person might say, “He’s always in his room beating the bishop.”
  • In a joking manner, someone might ask, “Are you planning on beating the bishop tonight?”
  • A person discussing sexual slang might mention, “Beating the bishop is a crass term for masturbation.”

24. Diddling the skittle

This slang phrase refers to the act of female masturbation. It uses a playful and euphemistic term to describe the action of touching or stimulating the clitoris, which is often associated with sexual pleasure.

  • For instance, a person might say, “She enjoys diddling the skittle in her free time.”
  • In a lighthearted conversation, someone might ask, “Have you ever tried diddling the skittle?”
  • A person discussing slang terms for female masturbation might mention, “Diddling the skittle is a playful way to refer to self-pleasure.”

25. Tugging the rope

This slang phrase refers to the act of masturbating. It compares the action of pulling on the penis to the motion of tugging on a rope, which involves a similar hand movement.

  • For example, a person might say, “He’s always tugging the rope in his room.”
  • In a casual conversation, someone might ask, “Have you ever tried tugging the rope?”
  • A person discussing slang terms for masturbation might mention, “Tugging the rope is a colloquial expression for self-pleasure.”

26. Playing with oneself

This phrase refers to the act of pleasuring oneself sexually. It is a euphemistic way of describing masturbation.

  • For example, a person might say, “I caught my roommate playing with himself in his room.”
  • In a conversation about sexual experiences, someone might share, “I enjoy playing with myself when I’m alone.”
  • A friend might joke, “Don’t mind me, just playing with myself over here.”

27. Stroking the salami

This phrase is a humorous slang term for male masturbation. It refers to the action of stroking or rubbing one’s penis.

  • For instance, someone might say, “He spends a lot of time in his room stroking the salami.”
  • In a conversation about sexual activities, a person might ask, “Do you enjoy stroking the salami?”
  • A friend might tease, “I heard you’re an expert at stroking the salami.”

28. Pumping the python

This phrase is a playful way of describing male masturbation. It suggests the image of someone manually stimulating their penis.

  • For example, a person might say, “He’s been spending a lot of time alone, pumping the python.”
  • In a discussion about sexual pleasure, someone might share, “I find pumping the python to be quite satisfying.”
  • A friend might jokingly ask, “Are you going to spend the evening pumping the python?”

29. Flogging the dolphin

This phrase is a humorous euphemism for masturbation. It compares the act to the action of flogging or whipping a dolphin, using wordplay to create a comedic effect.

  • For instance, someone might say, “He’s always flogging the dolphin when he thinks no one is watching.”
  • In a conversation about sexual experiences, a person might share, “I’ve tried flogging the dolphin, but it’s not really my thing.”
  • A friend might tease, “I heard you’re quite skilled at flogging the dolphin.”

30. Buttering the corn

This phrase is a playful slang term for masturbation. It suggests the action of spreading butter on corn, using wordplay to create a humorous image.

  • For example, a person might say, “He spends a lot of time alone, buttering the corn.”
  • In a discussion about sexual pleasure, someone might share, “I find buttering the corn to be a satisfying release.”
  • A friend might jokingly ask, “Are you going to spend the evening buttering the corn?”

31. Fondling the fig

This phrase refers to the act of touching one’s genitals for sexual pleasure. “Fondling the fig” is a euphemism for masturbation.

  • For example, someone might say, “I caught my roommate fondling the fig when I walked into the room.”
  • In a casual conversation about sexual activities, a friend might ask, “Do you ever engage in fondling the fig?”
  • A person discussing self-pleasure might mention, “Fondling the fig is a natural and healthy way to explore one’s own body.”

32. Scratching the itch

This phrase is used to describe the act of masturbating to satisfy sexual desires or urges. “Scratching the itch” implies finding relief through self-stimulation.

  • For instance, someone might say, “After a long day at work, I just needed to scratch the itch when I got home.”
  • In a conversation about sexual frustration, a person might say, “Sometimes, the best solution is just scratching the itch.”
  • A friend might jokingly ask, “Are you planning on scratching the itch tonight?”

33. Solo session

This term refers to the act of engaging in sexual self-stimulation without a partner. A “solo session” implies that the individual is pleasuring themselves without any external assistance.

  • For example, someone might say, “I had a great solo session last night; it really helped me relax.”
  • In a discussion about sexual preferences, a person might say, “I enjoy having both solo sessions and intimate moments with a partner.”
  • A friend might ask, “How often do you have solo sessions?”

34. Self-love

This phrase is a euphemism for masturbation, emphasizing the importance of self-care and self-pleasure. “Self-love” suggests that taking time for oneself and exploring one’s own body is an act of self-care.

  • For instance, someone might say, “I believe that self-love is an essential part of understanding one’s own desires.”
  • In a conversation about sexual empowerment, a person might say, “Self-love is about embracing and celebrating one’s own sexuality.”
  • A friend might ask, “Do you think self-love is necessary for a healthy sex life?”

35. Pleasuring oneself

This phrase refers to the act of giving oneself sexual pleasure through self-stimulation. “Pleasuring oneself” implies actively seeking sexual gratification through various techniques.

  • For example, someone might say, “I enjoy pleasuring myself when I have some alone time.”
  • In a discussion about sexual exploration, a person might say, “Pleasuring oneself is a way to learn about one’s own desires and preferences.”
  • A friend might ask, “What are some of your favorite techniques for pleasuring yourself?”
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